I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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