Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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