Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
