Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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