shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
