I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
