I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
