So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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