I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
