After last night, I could never be a politician.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
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We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
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All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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