I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
smell my finger.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
