uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He? As in you personified your dick?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
