you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
