I wannas sexs uuuuu
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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