I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
PANTIES FOUND
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
