yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just forgot I was standing up.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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