Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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