my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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