Where is the hickey?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
