U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
