Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
