you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
