Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
