Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
