I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
