Cold hands, warm shart.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
