im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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