guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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