I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
