I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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