Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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