Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
