If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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