just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just threw up on my dentist
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
