Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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