I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize