I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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