He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
