He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
