we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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