she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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