Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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