Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Please don't give away my fajitas
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
