So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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