the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
