We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
