You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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