my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
