just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You can't special order awesome
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
