When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
