I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
A+ Viking dick
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