Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
