so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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