Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
