also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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