At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
