Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
