Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
