Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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