my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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