i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
