What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize