You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
