It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
