is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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