i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
