I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
