I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
