i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
where are my eyebrows?
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