discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
